His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
