I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
