then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize