she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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