I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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