he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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