2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize