If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
