I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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