I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
