Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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