Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
