we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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