when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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