life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
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Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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