oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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