is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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