That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize