It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
