I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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