chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am available for nakedness
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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