is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I understand Curling. That high.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
