I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
