Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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