Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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