don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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