wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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