I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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