I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
