Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
