Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
