So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
