Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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