She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
