I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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