Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize