So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
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I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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