I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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