So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
