She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
