Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I won the penis lottery.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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