I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have fence marks all over my body
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
