Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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