I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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