wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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