Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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