After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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