I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
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I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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