6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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