oh god the rape fog is back!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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