So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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