You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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