I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
