you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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