Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
