i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
