you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize