I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
