therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
