in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is the high leading the old right now
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
