he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
