I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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