whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
