I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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