I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
