Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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