let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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