I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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