I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
