Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
