so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
