I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
